People of CineDump, it's good to see you. I've been away for awhile. Let's talk about why.

It’s a loud, mean, mad world out there, but you don’t need me to tell you that. Forget abstract badness on the macro level, let’s look in our own vast, garbage strewn backyard: the internet. From cyber bullies to slut-shamers to Yahoo News users to your common garden variety troll, the online world is becoming a place as vile and vicious as the physical world it imitates.

It turns out that Texas Frightmare Weekend is just the gift that keeps on giving. While I was there, wandering in between delightfully confrontational Udo Kiers, adorable monster babies, five dollar Stella Artios, and enough amazing artists to make my dried up little soul sing, I stumbled across this. You know that feeling when you look across a crowded room and lock eyes with some beautiful stranger and you just can’t look away?

Let me set the scene for you: Texas Frightmare Weekend, clown costumes, stilt walkers, little-taxidermied animals, Udo Kier shouting lascivious taunts into the crowd. There I was-- drifting in the kind of pleasant haze only over-priced beer can give you, trying not to bump into the Evil Priest or get too lost in the gravitational pull of Wilford Brimley’s mustache-- when I saw it. At first, I thought it was another baby, but a second glance revealed dainty claws on slender arms, skin so white it had an ethereal blue cast to it, and, best of all, a head that sprouted into five wicked looking petals, curving in around a yawning mouth fringed with dangerously cute little teeth.