There’s a fine line between campy fun and cinematic disaster, and Shiver Me Timbers, the feature debut from writer-director Paul Stephen Mann, cannonballs into the latter without much grace. Billed as a gory, comedic reimagining of Popeye with a horror twist, this film misses nearly every mark—hard. Set in 1986 California during the arrival of Halley’s Comet, the plot follows Olive Oyl, her brother Castor, and a group of forgettable friends on a camping trip that goes sideways when a meteor fragment lands in the pipe of a local fisherman.