Atomic Blonde and Toby Fucking Jones

I just can’t help it--I’m a fool for trailers. Some women squander promising lives on unworthy men, self-destructive behavior, or the ever evolving siren’s song of Lifetime movies. But not me. I'm a shameless trailer mark and the studios see this rube coming from a mile off. If I had back all the money I’ve spent on movies simply because I was left helplessly dazzled by a good trailer, I’d be so much closer to building that Pleasuredome we’ve always talked about.

But, whether you trust me or not (and you probably shouldn’t), I’m willing to gamble my hard earned CineDump tokens on this one based on the trailer alone.


What you just saw was a heady mash-up of raw sexual energy, brutal savagery, and a screen presence so magnetic, powerful, and overwhelming, I should have warned you to take a seat before viewing. (Sorry). You know who I’m talking about.

That’s right: Toby Fucking Jones.

While this trailer doesn’t feature as much of Jones as I would ideally like, he’s in there just enough to tease us, that delicious little bitch. With all those oh-so-discreet Toby flashes peppered like the spice of life itself throughout this trailer, it’s easy to lose the thread of the narrative, and I might have faulted the director for that, but come on! That’s like calling down to a fancy hotel’s front desk because the sheets are too silky and the minibar is too well stocked.

There are some other people in the trailer, but they fade in the glory of Toby Jones’ blinding brilliance. Even the brief scraps we get of him is enough to convince even the most skeptical viewer that this is going to be a blockbuster well worthy of the ticket price. With Jones on board, you can rest assured the film will be bursting at the seams with a barely contained eroticism combined with an animal sense of splendid grace, the two trademarks of Jones’ staggering oeuvre.

When I Googled the release date, I realized to my despair that the film won’t be released in the United States until July 28th. Oh well, I’ve waited this long, being mercilessly taunted by Toby Jones’ roguish grin every time a YouTube ad pops up. I’m strong. I can endure this knowing there’s a Toby shaped pot of gold at the end of this particular rainbow.

Join CineDump at the theaters on July 28th, and share with us the unbridled joy of Toby Jones, our Atomic Blonde.

Pennie Sublime